A sexual assault evidence collection kit, sexual assault forensic evidence (SAFE) kit or Sexual Offense Evidence Collection (SOEC) kit in New York[1] is a set of items used by medical personnel for gathering and preserving physical evidence following a sexual assault which can be used in criminal proceedings.
For a sexual assault evidence collection kit to be the most useful the victim should go to the hospital immediately following the attack. Changing clothes or bathing may result in destroying viable evidence. [3] It is a victim's right to refuse to participate in any part of the evidence collection process, regardless of what stage the procedure is in. However, a sexual assault kit is the victim's best way to document the attack and help ensure prosecution of the attacker. The victim's informed consent is necessary for a kit to be used. This evidence retrieval and exam could take up to four hours to complete.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
What is a rape crisis center and what is it supposed to do?
The Rape Crisis Intervention Service provides free counseling and support services to victims of sexual violence and their families. RCIS also offers prevention education programs and professional training.
For Victims of Sexual AssaultSexual violence is inflicted on all races, people of all economic status, across all age groups and impacts both men and women. Victims of sexual violence experience a wide range of emotions and often need support from family, friends and professionals to piece their lives back together. As the designated center for sexual assault victims in Carroll County, Rape Crisis Intervention Service of Carroll County (RCIS) offers support services for victims to assist in the healing process. All services offered by RCIS are free and confidential.
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Who Does RCIS Serve?RCIS serves people age 12 years and older, male and female, victims of sexual violence, and significant others regardless of the length of time since the assault. Please note that our full range of services is available to male victims as well as female victims. Women are not the only victims of rape and sexual assault. In fact, one in every ten victims of rape is male (Source: Rape Incest and Abuse National Network, www.rainn.org). Male victims are even less likely than female victims to report the crime or to seek help and support. Men suffer many of the same effects of sexual assault as women, and at times their reactions are more profound. Men often suffer an exaggerated sense of self blame, guilt, and anger. For more information specific to men, please see our resource page.
^ Top of Page
Have You Been Recently Sexually Assaulted?
Victims should seek medical attention immediately
Sexual assault can leave victims with injuries that are visible and invisible to the naked eye. Victims should be examined at the hospital immediately following the assault to treat any injuries, and be tested for sexually transmitted diseases including HIV.
Victims can also be treated at the local health department or their regular GYN during their regular hours.
If you go to the nearest hospital
It is important that a victim not shower and not change clothes before going to the hospital to preserve evidence.
Specially trained nurses called Sexual Assault Forensic Examiners (SAFE) are available at Carroll Hospital Center and other hospitals in the region. SAFE nurses not only treat victims of assault but collect any and all evidence from a survivor's body to be used during the sexual assault investigation.
Victim participation is at the discretion of the victim while at the hospital. A victim may decline any and all parts of the exam. For more information regarding SAFE exams please visit www.ccgh.com.
An RCIS trained volunteer counselor will meet you at the hospital.
Victims may also utilize free and confidential services from RCIS. Please see services below.
^ Top of Page
ConfidentialityConfidentiality is essential to effective therapy and support services. Everything a client discusses with counselors or therapists at RCIS is kept private between that client and our agency. Professional ethics and Maryland law require that we protect the confidentiality of people who seek help from us. A signed permission form by the client is required before information about a client is released to anyone outside the agency. The only instances that RCIS would report any discussion between a counselor and a client without the client's written permission are:
If the client threatens harm to self or others
If the client discloses child abuse
In rare cases, certain types of court proceedings may force RCIS to discuss client information with judicial officials
^ Top of Page
FeesAll services are free! Although government grants, private donations, agency fundraising and private donors contribute funds needed to provide free services, there are budget shortfalls and hundreds of people seeking help. To make the best use of these resources and to provide quality service, we ask that people who take advantage of counseling services help with a personal donation when possible. Suggested donations: $7 per group therapy session and $15 per individual counseling session. Important - Donations are not required for any client service. Please note these suggested donations only represent about one-sixth of the actual cost to provide counseling services.
^ Top of Page
RCIS has Qualified CounselorsRCIS agency therapists are licensed, professionally trained, and have years of experience working with victims of sexual violence. Our licensed agency therapists have Master's Degrees in counseling, social work or related fields, and at least one other counseling certification. These certifications may be obtained through licensing by the State of Maryland, the National Certified Counselor Program or other professional organizations. RCIS also has specially trained crisis counselors to counsel clients via our 24-hour hotline and at the RCIS office. Our crisis counselors successfully complete our Crisis Counseling Certification program and receive additional training each year they are an active crisis counselor with RCIS. All volunteer crisis counselors are carefully monitored by specially trained staff and agency therapists. Every staff member, volunteer crisis counselor and board members must successfully pass a background check before serving with RCIS.
^ Top of Page
Client Services
24 Hour Hotline
Walk-in Crisis Counseling
Court, Hospital, Police and School Accompaniment
Individual and Group Counseling
Information and Referrals 24 Hour Hotline 410-857-7322 Crisis counselors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to respond to clients in crisis. The hotline is available for victims of sexual violence as well as loved ones of victims. The hotline is not an option for on-going counseling but is offered as a tool for clients needing to speak with someone right away. Crisis counselors are not a replacement for licensed therapists. On-going counseling is offered through our individual and group counseling services. Walk-in Crisis Counseling Staff crisis counselors are available between 9am-5pm Monday-Friday (excluding county recognized holidays) at our center located in Westminster, MD. No appointment is necessary. Clients seeking in-person crisis counseling are welcomed to walk-in during office hours for help. Staff crisis counselors are not a replacement for licensed therapists. On-going counseling is offered through our individual and group counseling services. Court, Hospital, Police and School Accompaniment Crisis counselors are dispatched when warranted to assist any victim of sexual violence when requested through our 24 hour hotline. Counselors can be dispatched to the Carroll County Courthouse, Carroll Hospital Center, any Carroll County Police Barrack, any Carroll County School and other locations. Crisis counselors support and educate victims when they appear in court, at the hospital, to the police and school. Individual & Group Counseling Counseling is most effective when it is a priority and done regularly. To meet with an agency therapist, an appointment is needed. Both day and evening therapy appointments are available. All therapy sessions are conducted at our office located in Westminster, MD. Funding limitations make it impossible for us to provide free counseling services for longer than 6 months. If additional counseling is desired, local referrals can be made. A contribution of $15 per session is suggested from each participant per session, but is not required. Short term therapy groups are available during designated months throughout the year. Pre-registration is required. The number of members in the group averages 6-8. Groups meet one evening each week for 1-1/2 hours under the guidance of a licensed therapist to discuss issues such as trust, intimacy, family relationships, and anger associated with sexual assault. The group meets for 12 consecutive weeks and is closed to new members after the first week. This program is designed as a supplement to individual counseling, but is not mandatory. A contribution of $7 per session is suggested from each participant per session, but is not required. We are committed to treating our clients with dignity, respect, equality and professional expertise. To make the most of the counseling services available from our agency, clients should plan to:
attend sessions regularly and be on time
communicate honestly with your therapist
make a determined effort to follow the exercises designed to help you with your pain
cooperate with agency policies regarding scheduling appointments and cancellations
give counseling and your healing process the priority it deserves in your life.
About RCISRape Crisis Intervention Service of Carroll County (RCIS) provides free counseling and other support services to victims of sexual violence and their families. We also offer prevention education programs and professional training in order to eliminate sexual violence through education and advocacy.
Mission
Who Are We?
Board Members
Staff
Agency Newsletter Archive
Calendar of Events
Service Volume
Our MissionNo one has the right, under any circumstances, to rape or sexually assault another person. Victims and survivors of sexual violence deserve all the support possible to aid in their recovery. We will provide quality treatment to victims and survivors and their families, ever seeking to improve our expertise and services. An equal part of our energy, resources and personnel will be devoted to creating a community awareness and energy that will actively work toward the elimination of sexual violence in all forms.
^ Top of Page
Who Are We?Rape Crisis is a private, non-profit agency with its own Board of Trustees. Services are provided free of charge. We ask people who take advantage of counseling services to help by making a personal donation when possible, but it is not required. Funding sources which help make it possible for us to provide free services include local, state and federal governments, United Way, private donations and agency fund raising projects. We are registered with the Maryland Secretary of State as a non-profit 501C-3 organization. Our registration number is 666. (Visit the How You Can Help section of this web site for additional information on this topic.) For more than 30 years, Rape Crisis has been providing treatment services and education programs to the Carroll County, Maryland community.
http://www.rapecrisiscc.org/about.php
For Victims of Sexual AssaultSexual violence is inflicted on all races, people of all economic status, across all age groups and impacts both men and women. Victims of sexual violence experience a wide range of emotions and often need support from family, friends and professionals to piece their lives back together. As the designated center for sexual assault victims in Carroll County, Rape Crisis Intervention Service of Carroll County (RCIS) offers support services for victims to assist in the healing process. All services offered by RCIS are free and confidential.
^ Top of Page
Who Does RCIS Serve?RCIS serves people age 12 years and older, male and female, victims of sexual violence, and significant others regardless of the length of time since the assault. Please note that our full range of services is available to male victims as well as female victims. Women are not the only victims of rape and sexual assault. In fact, one in every ten victims of rape is male (Source: Rape Incest and Abuse National Network, www.rainn.org). Male victims are even less likely than female victims to report the crime or to seek help and support. Men suffer many of the same effects of sexual assault as women, and at times their reactions are more profound. Men often suffer an exaggerated sense of self blame, guilt, and anger. For more information specific to men, please see our resource page.
^ Top of Page
Have You Been Recently Sexually Assaulted?
Victims should seek medical attention immediately
Sexual assault can leave victims with injuries that are visible and invisible to the naked eye. Victims should be examined at the hospital immediately following the assault to treat any injuries, and be tested for sexually transmitted diseases including HIV.
Victims can also be treated at the local health department or their regular GYN during their regular hours.
If you go to the nearest hospital
It is important that a victim not shower and not change clothes before going to the hospital to preserve evidence.
Specially trained nurses called Sexual Assault Forensic Examiners (SAFE) are available at Carroll Hospital Center and other hospitals in the region. SAFE nurses not only treat victims of assault but collect any and all evidence from a survivor's body to be used during the sexual assault investigation.
Victim participation is at the discretion of the victim while at the hospital. A victim may decline any and all parts of the exam. For more information regarding SAFE exams please visit www.ccgh.com.
An RCIS trained volunteer counselor will meet you at the hospital.
Victims may also utilize free and confidential services from RCIS. Please see services below.
^ Top of Page
ConfidentialityConfidentiality is essential to effective therapy and support services. Everything a client discusses with counselors or therapists at RCIS is kept private between that client and our agency. Professional ethics and Maryland law require that we protect the confidentiality of people who seek help from us. A signed permission form by the client is required before information about a client is released to anyone outside the agency. The only instances that RCIS would report any discussion between a counselor and a client without the client's written permission are:
If the client threatens harm to self or others
If the client discloses child abuse
In rare cases, certain types of court proceedings may force RCIS to discuss client information with judicial officials
^ Top of Page
FeesAll services are free! Although government grants, private donations, agency fundraising and private donors contribute funds needed to provide free services, there are budget shortfalls and hundreds of people seeking help. To make the best use of these resources and to provide quality service, we ask that people who take advantage of counseling services help with a personal donation when possible. Suggested donations: $7 per group therapy session and $15 per individual counseling session. Important - Donations are not required for any client service. Please note these suggested donations only represent about one-sixth of the actual cost to provide counseling services.
^ Top of Page
RCIS has Qualified CounselorsRCIS agency therapists are licensed, professionally trained, and have years of experience working with victims of sexual violence. Our licensed agency therapists have Master's Degrees in counseling, social work or related fields, and at least one other counseling certification. These certifications may be obtained through licensing by the State of Maryland, the National Certified Counselor Program or other professional organizations. RCIS also has specially trained crisis counselors to counsel clients via our 24-hour hotline and at the RCIS office. Our crisis counselors successfully complete our Crisis Counseling Certification program and receive additional training each year they are an active crisis counselor with RCIS. All volunteer crisis counselors are carefully monitored by specially trained staff and agency therapists. Every staff member, volunteer crisis counselor and board members must successfully pass a background check before serving with RCIS.
^ Top of Page
Client Services
24 Hour Hotline
Walk-in Crisis Counseling
Court, Hospital, Police and School Accompaniment
Individual and Group Counseling
Information and Referrals 24 Hour Hotline 410-857-7322 Crisis counselors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to respond to clients in crisis. The hotline is available for victims of sexual violence as well as loved ones of victims. The hotline is not an option for on-going counseling but is offered as a tool for clients needing to speak with someone right away. Crisis counselors are not a replacement for licensed therapists. On-going counseling is offered through our individual and group counseling services. Walk-in Crisis Counseling Staff crisis counselors are available between 9am-5pm Monday-Friday (excluding county recognized holidays) at our center located in Westminster, MD. No appointment is necessary. Clients seeking in-person crisis counseling are welcomed to walk-in during office hours for help. Staff crisis counselors are not a replacement for licensed therapists. On-going counseling is offered through our individual and group counseling services. Court, Hospital, Police and School Accompaniment Crisis counselors are dispatched when warranted to assist any victim of sexual violence when requested through our 24 hour hotline. Counselors can be dispatched to the Carroll County Courthouse, Carroll Hospital Center, any Carroll County Police Barrack, any Carroll County School and other locations. Crisis counselors support and educate victims when they appear in court, at the hospital, to the police and school. Individual & Group Counseling Counseling is most effective when it is a priority and done regularly. To meet with an agency therapist, an appointment is needed. Both day and evening therapy appointments are available. All therapy sessions are conducted at our office located in Westminster, MD. Funding limitations make it impossible for us to provide free counseling services for longer than 6 months. If additional counseling is desired, local referrals can be made. A contribution of $15 per session is suggested from each participant per session, but is not required. Short term therapy groups are available during designated months throughout the year. Pre-registration is required. The number of members in the group averages 6-8. Groups meet one evening each week for 1-1/2 hours under the guidance of a licensed therapist to discuss issues such as trust, intimacy, family relationships, and anger associated with sexual assault. The group meets for 12 consecutive weeks and is closed to new members after the first week. This program is designed as a supplement to individual counseling, but is not mandatory. A contribution of $7 per session is suggested from each participant per session, but is not required. We are committed to treating our clients with dignity, respect, equality and professional expertise. To make the most of the counseling services available from our agency, clients should plan to:
attend sessions regularly and be on time
communicate honestly with your therapist
make a determined effort to follow the exercises designed to help you with your pain
cooperate with agency policies regarding scheduling appointments and cancellations
give counseling and your healing process the priority it deserves in your life.
About RCISRape Crisis Intervention Service of Carroll County (RCIS) provides free counseling and other support services to victims of sexual violence and their families. We also offer prevention education programs and professional training in order to eliminate sexual violence through education and advocacy.
Mission
Who Are We?
Board Members
Staff
Agency Newsletter Archive
Calendar of Events
Service Volume
Our MissionNo one has the right, under any circumstances, to rape or sexually assault another person. Victims and survivors of sexual violence deserve all the support possible to aid in their recovery. We will provide quality treatment to victims and survivors and their families, ever seeking to improve our expertise and services. An equal part of our energy, resources and personnel will be devoted to creating a community awareness and energy that will actively work toward the elimination of sexual violence in all forms.
^ Top of Page
Who Are We?Rape Crisis is a private, non-profit agency with its own Board of Trustees. Services are provided free of charge. We ask people who take advantage of counseling services to help by making a personal donation when possible, but it is not required. Funding sources which help make it possible for us to provide free services include local, state and federal governments, United Way, private donations and agency fund raising projects. We are registered with the Maryland Secretary of State as a non-profit 501C-3 organization. Our registration number is 666. (Visit the How You Can Help section of this web site for additional information on this topic.) For more than 30 years, Rape Crisis has been providing treatment services and education programs to the Carroll County, Maryland community.
http://www.rapecrisiscc.org/about.php
Monday, February 23, 2009
what situation could lead to rape and sexual violence on college campuses?
Sexual assault can happen to anyone:
First-year college students can be particularly vulnerable to sexual assault. You are likely away from your family for the first time and you are bound to experience new social settings, different from what you have been a part of before. You will be faced with an array of personal choices that you may have never experienced in the past. Peer cultures in college often condone or encourage underage drinking or the excessive use of alcohol or other drugs. While having the freedom to make your own decisions is a positive step ahead in your life, it is important that you understand the risks involved in your years as a college student. College should be a positive experience for everyone, and while this is not meant to frighten you, it is necessary for you to be aware of the possibility of sexual assault and rape, a serious epidemic in our country.
An especially risky time for sexual assault/date rape to occur is the period between the beginning of school until November. This is a time that universities in our country consider “The Red Zone”. The statistics of the Red Zone often demonstrate an increase in party activities, relationship “get togethers” and break ups, sexual activity, and sexual assault- particularly date rape. It might be easy to separate yourself from the idea of date rape, because we hear this term frequently without connecting it to our own lives. However, statistics show that between 20 and 25 percent of college women experience complete or attempted rape. It is likely that you will know someone that has been raped or you will experience a situation like this yourself. When an individual is sexually assaulted or raped, 84 percent of the time the perpetrator is someone that s/he knows. If you experience sexual assault, chances are that the individual who commits this act will be a friend of yours, possibly someone that you just met.
There are ways for you to reduce the risk of being sexually assaulted or raped, but, ultimately, there is no way to positively prevent it. Know that you are worth being in relationship with and that you never have to “settle” for a situation that is not good for you out of fear that it might be your only or best chance. There are many faculty and staff members at EOU that care about your well being and want to help you through these transitions. Eastern Oregon University does not condone sexual assault and there are a number of resources available to you should you experience it.
http://www.eou.edu/saffairs/sex/anyone.html
rape scenario:
Yoko squirmed uncomfortably in her seat as she tried to pay attention to her humanities professor. She was aware Bob was staring at her. She didn't know him well and it made her uncomfortable. Yoko looked over at Bob anxiously, returned his smile politely and looked down. After class, Bob approached Yoko and asked her to have a beer with him.
In Yoko's culture, she would not go out for a beer with someone she didn't know well and trust, yet, Bob seemed friendly. She was flattered to be asked out. She did not feel comfortable turning him down. "How about coffee instead?" suggested Yoko. "Okay," Bob said, "after that, let's go see a movie." "Umm, well, yes that would be fine." Yoko agreed pensively. After the movie, Bob asked Yoko back to his place for a drink. Yoko thanked Bob but told him she had to go home and study. Bob walked her back to her apartment. Yoko tried to say goodbye, but Bob pushed his way in. Yoko was uncomfortable with this, but did not know how to ask Bob to leave without being rude. Bob then approached her and sat down next to her. He started to kiss her. Yoko was very surprised and was not sure how to react. "What are you thinking about?" Yoko asked as she pulled away. "Let me stay just a little longer," Bob said as he persisted to kiss Yoko, despite her protests. Yoko felt very helpless and did not know how to change her situation. Bob proceeded to force himself on her and have intercourse with Yoko.
Does agreeing to go out with someone mean you are agreeing to have intercourse with him or her? Is there ever a time when you have to pay-off a date with sexual activity?The above scenario is an example of coercive rape. Although Yoko never said "no" to Bob, she clearly did not consent to the sexual activity. Bob took advantage of the cultural differences and coerced her into having intercourse by pressuring her with reasons of why she should. Coercive rape, using verbal pressure to engage a person in intercourse against his or her will, can also happen between people of the same culture and the same sex and is the least reported of all forms of rape and the hardest form to prosecute. A survivor of coercive rape usually has a difficult time overcoming the effects of the rape because he/she does not identify the act as rape. The best method to prevent coercive rape is to openly and honestly communicate about your sexual limits before the situation arises.
http://www.eou.edu/saffairs/sex/scenario1.html
First-year college students can be particularly vulnerable to sexual assault. You are likely away from your family for the first time and you are bound to experience new social settings, different from what you have been a part of before. You will be faced with an array of personal choices that you may have never experienced in the past. Peer cultures in college often condone or encourage underage drinking or the excessive use of alcohol or other drugs. While having the freedom to make your own decisions is a positive step ahead in your life, it is important that you understand the risks involved in your years as a college student. College should be a positive experience for everyone, and while this is not meant to frighten you, it is necessary for you to be aware of the possibility of sexual assault and rape, a serious epidemic in our country.
An especially risky time for sexual assault/date rape to occur is the period between the beginning of school until November. This is a time that universities in our country consider “The Red Zone”. The statistics of the Red Zone often demonstrate an increase in party activities, relationship “get togethers” and break ups, sexual activity, and sexual assault- particularly date rape. It might be easy to separate yourself from the idea of date rape, because we hear this term frequently without connecting it to our own lives. However, statistics show that between 20 and 25 percent of college women experience complete or attempted rape. It is likely that you will know someone that has been raped or you will experience a situation like this yourself. When an individual is sexually assaulted or raped, 84 percent of the time the perpetrator is someone that s/he knows. If you experience sexual assault, chances are that the individual who commits this act will be a friend of yours, possibly someone that you just met.
There are ways for you to reduce the risk of being sexually assaulted or raped, but, ultimately, there is no way to positively prevent it. Know that you are worth being in relationship with and that you never have to “settle” for a situation that is not good for you out of fear that it might be your only or best chance. There are many faculty and staff members at EOU that care about your well being and want to help you through these transitions. Eastern Oregon University does not condone sexual assault and there are a number of resources available to you should you experience it.
http://www.eou.edu/saffairs/sex/anyone.html
rape scenario:
Yoko squirmed uncomfortably in her seat as she tried to pay attention to her humanities professor. She was aware Bob was staring at her. She didn't know him well and it made her uncomfortable. Yoko looked over at Bob anxiously, returned his smile politely and looked down. After class, Bob approached Yoko and asked her to have a beer with him.
In Yoko's culture, she would not go out for a beer with someone she didn't know well and trust, yet, Bob seemed friendly. She was flattered to be asked out. She did not feel comfortable turning him down. "How about coffee instead?" suggested Yoko. "Okay," Bob said, "after that, let's go see a movie." "Umm, well, yes that would be fine." Yoko agreed pensively. After the movie, Bob asked Yoko back to his place for a drink. Yoko thanked Bob but told him she had to go home and study. Bob walked her back to her apartment. Yoko tried to say goodbye, but Bob pushed his way in. Yoko was uncomfortable with this, but did not know how to ask Bob to leave without being rude. Bob then approached her and sat down next to her. He started to kiss her. Yoko was very surprised and was not sure how to react. "What are you thinking about?" Yoko asked as she pulled away. "Let me stay just a little longer," Bob said as he persisted to kiss Yoko, despite her protests. Yoko felt very helpless and did not know how to change her situation. Bob proceeded to force himself on her and have intercourse with Yoko.
Does agreeing to go out with someone mean you are agreeing to have intercourse with him or her? Is there ever a time when you have to pay-off a date with sexual activity?The above scenario is an example of coercive rape. Although Yoko never said "no" to Bob, she clearly did not consent to the sexual activity. Bob took advantage of the cultural differences and coerced her into having intercourse by pressuring her with reasons of why she should. Coercive rape, using verbal pressure to engage a person in intercourse against his or her will, can also happen between people of the same culture and the same sex and is the least reported of all forms of rape and the hardest form to prosecute. A survivor of coercive rape usually has a difficult time overcoming the effects of the rape because he/she does not identify the act as rape. The best method to prevent coercive rape is to openly and honestly communicate about your sexual limits before the situation arises.
http://www.eou.edu/saffairs/sex/scenario1.html
Monday, February 16, 2009
dialogue between a bystander and a perpetrator
Dialogue....
Billy: Hey man, I am thinking about taking Susie back with me tonight....i think there is a good chance that we will finally hook up..you know what i mean?
Joe: You sure you want to do that man? Susie looks pretty gone...I dont think that is a good idea.
Billy: Don't worry about it man, me and Susie are on that level with each other..we should have hooked up 3 weeks ago..it is totally fine.
Joe: Alright..but I am just saying..she is tanked and I don't think she would be willing to do that if she were sober.
Billy: Whatever...I am out of here..stay out of my business (storms off)
Billy pulls Susie out the door and she is stumbling behind him.
Joe looks to Adam who was standing next to him the whole time.
Joe: Why didn't you say anything, man?
Casey: I dunno..I just don't think it is any of my business...what he does is his own problem..i don't want to be involved..that's all.
Joe: Yeah, but she is wasted and he is probably going to take advantage of her...you know how Billy is with girls.....it just isn't right.
Casey: I don't know man, I guess it is too late now....
Billy: Hey man, I am thinking about taking Susie back with me tonight....i think there is a good chance that we will finally hook up..you know what i mean?
Joe: You sure you want to do that man? Susie looks pretty gone...I dont think that is a good idea.
Billy: Don't worry about it man, me and Susie are on that level with each other..we should have hooked up 3 weeks ago..it is totally fine.
Joe: Alright..but I am just saying..she is tanked and I don't think she would be willing to do that if she were sober.
Billy: Whatever...I am out of here..stay out of my business (storms off)
Billy pulls Susie out the door and she is stumbling behind him.
Joe looks to Adam who was standing next to him the whole time.
Joe: Why didn't you say anything, man?
Casey: I dunno..I just don't think it is any of my business...what he does is his own problem..i don't want to be involved..that's all.
Joe: Yeah, but she is wasted and he is probably going to take advantage of her...you know how Billy is with girls.....it just isn't right.
Casey: I don't know man, I guess it is too late now....
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Who is a rapist or sexual offender?
In recent years, researchers and clinicians have focused increasingly on the nature of sex offenders' intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It is a relationship in which the participants know or trust one another very well or are confidants of one another, or a relationship in which there is physical or emotional intimacy. Basically, three overlapping but distinct lines of research can be identified. The first area of research is concerned with investigating sexual offenders' adult romantic relationships and the interactions between attachment style, intimacy deficits, and offending. To cause displeasure, anger, resentment, or wounded feelings in behavior The second line of research is concerned with offenders' early developmental experiences, documenting the variables that predict later sexual aggression. The third type of research has examined adolescent sexual offenders' interactions with their caregivers and peers. Despite the value of the above research findings, the link between the quality of early interpersonal relationships. This article or section may contain original research or unverified claims.
http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Sexual+offenders%27+perceptions+of+their+early+interpersonal+...-a091475116
Danger signs
1) Insensitivity for others/emphasis on self - Does this person put his wants above the needs, feelings or well being of others? Is getting his way more important to him than other people's welfare? Often this can go beyond mere selfishness and border nearly on an "assumed divine right." Often these people will justify a particularly vicious action with a flip comment like, "Hey, that's how the game is played." Such a person has no understanding that he must co-exist with others. Because he simply exists he thinks the world "owes" him whatever he wants. A common tactic of such a person it to make you feel bad for not doing what he wants.
2) Belittling behavior or attitudes towards others - Does this person habitually make nasty, belittling or degrading comments about others – especially under the guise of joking? Does this person think he is better than others? Does he look down on others? A nouveau riche aristocrat? Is he a racist? A person who thinks that race or social position makes him superior can also assume gender does too. When you think you are superior, an assumed right to ‘take’ what you want often follows.
3) Negating behavior or comments - Closely related to 1 and 2. Does he try to tell you what you are feeling or thinking? Or worse, tell you what you are not? Comments like "you don’t really mean that" are serious indicators of someone trying to negate you. A person who negates others is trying to take away the other person’s thoughts, feelings and needs and attempting to project his wants onto that person. The most obvious example of this is "Well even though she said ‘no’, she really meant ‘yes’".
4) Hostile and/or threatening language - What words does a person use? Choice of words convey subconscious assumptions about a particular topic. For example a man who generically refers to women as "bitches" does not have good assumptions about females (or much respect). It is all too easy to dismiss this behavior as just "blowing off steam." But if it is a constant behavior, it goes far beyond that. Someone who habitually uses violent or threatening language should be carefully watched for possible escalation. It’s on his mind already. It’s a uncomfortably short step from ‘thinking about’ to ‘doing’.
5) Bullying - This behavior is especially dangerous. Does this person use overt or subtle threats to get his way? A bully uses the threat of violence more than actual violence. Most often bullies are not willing to risk conflict with someone who can hurt them (an alpha male), and will instead chose to intimidate someone he considers weaker and safer. Someone who is bullying over other matters can easily turn to bullying you regarding sex.
6) Excessive anger - How easy does this person anger? Is he a "Short Fuse"? Does he boil over at the slightest problem? This is an indication of chronic anger. A person who explodes over a minor issue is like a full pot boiling over on the stove. It’s not that the issue is all that important, but that he has so much anger already, any more causes him to explode. Often people with chronic anger look for targets to vent their anger at. This could manifest as physical fights, abuse, or rape.
7) Brooding/ revenge - Does this person hang onto his anger long after the situation is over? Will he still be stewing over something while everyone else has moved onto other things? Will he become anti-social and glare at the source of his anger from across the room? Will he insist on taking revenge for real or imagined slights? Both indicate a petty and obsessive personality. A brooder fixates on something and then works himself into a frenzy over it. A person who seeks revenge "has to win" and is willing to take it to extremes. Refusing such a person’s sexual advances can turn this tendency towards you.
8) Obsession – This is a close cousin to number seven. It is a major factor with acquaintance rapes. This is the person who won’t leave you alone. He insists on ‘hitting on you’ long after you have told him no. He is always trying establish forced intimacy (see ‘bonding process’ below). Such obsessions easily turn into anger when his advances are rejected. One day he shows up in a fringe area, drunk and attacks.
9) Extreme mood swings - Beware someone who can go from wildly happy to deeply wounded at a moment's notice. This sort of personality can feel justified to commit an unlimited amount of violence and damage, because you "hurt his feelings." This is a common pattern among those with chronic anger about life.
10) Physical tantrums - How does this person get angry? Especially when denied "getting his way". Beware of a person who regularly physically assaults his environment i.e. hitting walls, kicking things etc. It is only a short step from striking a car to attacking you.
11) Jock or gorilla mentality - This mentality promotes both acceptance and encouragement for the use of violence. It is especially common among participants of contact sports. What is most insidious about this mentality is the "jock" receives, not only positive reinforcement, but out-and-out applause for being aggressive and violent. This can easily lead to a failure to differentiate between the playing field and real life. Mike Tyson’s comment is a prime example: "Nobody ever objected before."
12) A mean drunk - Nearly all rape and abuse cases involve alcohol. Watch what surfaces when someone is intoxicated. It shows what is always lurking underneath. Do not put yourself into a situation where you would deal with such a person while he is intoxicated. Most importantly, don't allow your facilities to be diminished by alcohol or drugs in this person's presence.
13) Alcohol or drug abuse - To begin with drug and alcohol addiction can in be traced back to selfishness and a refusal to change one’s world view. Alcohol and drugs are not the cause of bad behavior, rather they are used as an excuse! Often the attacker intentionally became intoxicated to ignore the social restrictions and inhibitions regarding violence.
While there are others, these behaviors are serious indicators of a potential rapist. This short list should acquaint you with the basics. Not all men are rapists, but a person like this has a higher probability than others. You not only find these traits among rapists and abusers, but also professional criminals. Philosophically there is little difference between such, they are all selfish. Most often it is just a matter of degrees, style and choice of victims.
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/profile.html
http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Sexual+offenders%27+perceptions+of+their+early+interpersonal+...-a091475116
Danger signs
1) Insensitivity for others/emphasis on self - Does this person put his wants above the needs, feelings or well being of others? Is getting his way more important to him than other people's welfare? Often this can go beyond mere selfishness and border nearly on an "assumed divine right." Often these people will justify a particularly vicious action with a flip comment like, "Hey, that's how the game is played." Such a person has no understanding that he must co-exist with others. Because he simply exists he thinks the world "owes" him whatever he wants. A common tactic of such a person it to make you feel bad for not doing what he wants.
2) Belittling behavior or attitudes towards others - Does this person habitually make nasty, belittling or degrading comments about others – especially under the guise of joking? Does this person think he is better than others? Does he look down on others? A nouveau riche aristocrat? Is he a racist? A person who thinks that race or social position makes him superior can also assume gender does too. When you think you are superior, an assumed right to ‘take’ what you want often follows.
3) Negating behavior or comments - Closely related to 1 and 2. Does he try to tell you what you are feeling or thinking? Or worse, tell you what you are not? Comments like "you don’t really mean that" are serious indicators of someone trying to negate you. A person who negates others is trying to take away the other person’s thoughts, feelings and needs and attempting to project his wants onto that person. The most obvious example of this is "Well even though she said ‘no’, she really meant ‘yes’".
4) Hostile and/or threatening language - What words does a person use? Choice of words convey subconscious assumptions about a particular topic. For example a man who generically refers to women as "bitches" does not have good assumptions about females (or much respect). It is all too easy to dismiss this behavior as just "blowing off steam." But if it is a constant behavior, it goes far beyond that. Someone who habitually uses violent or threatening language should be carefully watched for possible escalation. It’s on his mind already. It’s a uncomfortably short step from ‘thinking about’ to ‘doing’.
5) Bullying - This behavior is especially dangerous. Does this person use overt or subtle threats to get his way? A bully uses the threat of violence more than actual violence. Most often bullies are not willing to risk conflict with someone who can hurt them (an alpha male), and will instead chose to intimidate someone he considers weaker and safer. Someone who is bullying over other matters can easily turn to bullying you regarding sex.
6) Excessive anger - How easy does this person anger? Is he a "Short Fuse"? Does he boil over at the slightest problem? This is an indication of chronic anger. A person who explodes over a minor issue is like a full pot boiling over on the stove. It’s not that the issue is all that important, but that he has so much anger already, any more causes him to explode. Often people with chronic anger look for targets to vent their anger at. This could manifest as physical fights, abuse, or rape.
7) Brooding/ revenge - Does this person hang onto his anger long after the situation is over? Will he still be stewing over something while everyone else has moved onto other things? Will he become anti-social and glare at the source of his anger from across the room? Will he insist on taking revenge for real or imagined slights? Both indicate a petty and obsessive personality. A brooder fixates on something and then works himself into a frenzy over it. A person who seeks revenge "has to win" and is willing to take it to extremes. Refusing such a person’s sexual advances can turn this tendency towards you.
8) Obsession – This is a close cousin to number seven. It is a major factor with acquaintance rapes. This is the person who won’t leave you alone. He insists on ‘hitting on you’ long after you have told him no. He is always trying establish forced intimacy (see ‘bonding process’ below). Such obsessions easily turn into anger when his advances are rejected. One day he shows up in a fringe area, drunk and attacks.
9) Extreme mood swings - Beware someone who can go from wildly happy to deeply wounded at a moment's notice. This sort of personality can feel justified to commit an unlimited amount of violence and damage, because you "hurt his feelings." This is a common pattern among those with chronic anger about life.
10) Physical tantrums - How does this person get angry? Especially when denied "getting his way". Beware of a person who regularly physically assaults his environment i.e. hitting walls, kicking things etc. It is only a short step from striking a car to attacking you.
11) Jock or gorilla mentality - This mentality promotes both acceptance and encouragement for the use of violence. It is especially common among participants of contact sports. What is most insidious about this mentality is the "jock" receives, not only positive reinforcement, but out-and-out applause for being aggressive and violent. This can easily lead to a failure to differentiate between the playing field and real life. Mike Tyson’s comment is a prime example: "Nobody ever objected before."
12) A mean drunk - Nearly all rape and abuse cases involve alcohol. Watch what surfaces when someone is intoxicated. It shows what is always lurking underneath. Do not put yourself into a situation where you would deal with such a person while he is intoxicated. Most importantly, don't allow your facilities to be diminished by alcohol or drugs in this person's presence.
13) Alcohol or drug abuse - To begin with drug and alcohol addiction can in be traced back to selfishness and a refusal to change one’s world view. Alcohol and drugs are not the cause of bad behavior, rather they are used as an excuse! Often the attacker intentionally became intoxicated to ignore the social restrictions and inhibitions regarding violence.
While there are others, these behaviors are serious indicators of a potential rapist. This short list should acquaint you with the basics. Not all men are rapists, but a person like this has a higher probability than others. You not only find these traits among rapists and abusers, but also professional criminals. Philosophically there is little difference between such, they are all selfish. Most often it is just a matter of degrees, style and choice of victims.
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/profile.html
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Rape Definitions
My Definition:
Rape is an assault by a person involving sexual intercoursewith or sexual penetration of another person without that person's consent.
The state of Maryland's Definition:
Rape is the post-penetration withdrawal of consent negates initial consent for the purposes of sexual offense crimes and, when coupled with the other elements, may constitute the crime of rape. A woman can revoke her consent after intercourse begins.
http://www.freeratio.org/archive/index.php/t-187234.html
Though definitions vary, rape is defined in most jurisdictions as sexual intercourse, or other forms of sexual penetration, by one person with or against another person without the consent of the victim.
The term sexual assault is closely related to rape. Some jurisdictions define "rape" to cover only acts involving penetration of the vagina, treating all other types of non-consensual sexual activity as sexual assault. Other jurisdictions define all non-consensual sexual activity to be rape. But the terminology varies, with some places using other terms.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape
Rape is an assault by a person involving sexual intercoursewith or sexual penetration of another person without that person's consent.
The state of Maryland's Definition:
Rape is the post-penetration withdrawal of consent negates initial consent for the purposes of sexual offense crimes and, when coupled with the other elements, may constitute the crime of rape. A woman can revoke her consent after intercourse begins.
http://www.freeratio.org/archive/index.php/t-187234.html
Though definitions vary, rape is defined in most jurisdictions as sexual intercourse, or other forms of sexual penetration, by one person with or against another person without the consent of the victim.
The term sexual assault is closely related to rape. Some jurisdictions define "rape" to cover only acts involving penetration of the vagina, treating all other types of non-consensual sexual activity as sexual assault. Other jurisdictions define all non-consensual sexual activity to be rape. But the terminology varies, with some places using other terms.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape
Monday, January 26, 2009
Why do people play games?
Why do people play games?
Play is an activity done by both humans and animals. In the animal kingdom, play is part of growing up and learning how to control their bodies, hunt and co-operate. Human children need the protection of their parents for much longer and have a great number of skills to learn before they can take on the world.
In humans, play is not just confined to children as adults practise sports to develop and test skills that were useful to our caveman ancestors. Watching and supporting a team or athlete has a psychology all of its own. Adult humans also play games like chess that are purely intellectually competitive. Some computer games are vastly more complex to master than these ancient games. Other games like poker have varying elements of chance and skill and the motive to play them is for money.
Publishers usually ask if your game is fun? But are successful games really all that fun? Most games consist of very repetitive game play with a limited number of controls used to solve, more or less, the same task over and over again. How many games involve killing vast number of enemies by just pressing a fire button and moving a controller such as a joystick in two directions to control the position targeted? They are a metaphor for blowing up an enemy plane or saving the world from alien invasion. Like film movies, there is an element of suspension of disbelief at work. Computer games are safe as there is no risk of the enemy pilot or aliens actually hurting the player. The player merely risks having his character killed or losing the game, which he can restart. The player therefore unlike the real world has big element of control over this cyber-world. Many adult leisure activities do not appear to be all that fun such as boxing or braving the elements to catch fish in the early hours of the morning. (Would you like to be punched about the head and would it be fun?) Very complex psychology is behind peoples hobbies, why they play games, what is fun or what they get out of doing it.
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/8461/wdpgfrm.html
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